I sat on the couch, struggling to catch my breath. The air was tight, and I couldn’t see in front of me as the fog settled in on my world. I stared into space trying to figure out what I should do next. I had just been betrayed and didn’t know who I could trust.
I walked from one window to the next and stared out into nothingness. My world had come crashing down, and I didn’t know how or what to pray. Why did God allow this to happen? I thought I was a faithful Christian.
Over the next few weeks I began to lose weight, but didn’t care. I tried to listen to what everyone had to say about my situation, and soon found myself even more confused.
Fears nagged at me like the constant buzzing of a fly. I tried to swat them away, but they wouldn’t disappear. What would people think when they found out my husband had chosen a life of homosexuality? What about HIV? Should I get tested? What was wrong with me? Wasn’t I woman enough for my man? I went through a roller coaster of emotions.
Thankfully, my family and friends prayed for me when I couldn’t. God answered. He brought people into my life at just the right time. Some invited me to stay with them on the weekends. I also travelled home to be with my family. God knew I shouldn’t be alone. He had even given me a roommate before my husband had left! I barely knew her, but I cried on her shoulder anyway. She quickly became my sounding board, my consoler, and my friend.
My family and friends listened to my hurts and tried to help where they could. I began to take advice only from those I trusted. I met with my pastor and started going to a counsellor. Slowly, the fog started to lift and the sun peeked through the clouds. I began to breathe again.
Are you living in foggy days right now? If so, I encourage you to talk to someone you trust. A family member, friend, pastor, or counsellor. Cry on their shoulder. Ask them to pray for you.
Most of all, ask God for help. He will lift the fog.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (The Message)
We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
Love reading your story even though it breaks my heart.
I love the story, can’t wait until Monday !
WOW! Your blog looks awesome, I love all the pictures, they go perfectly with each entry! It is so neat how a small piece of your heart-wrenching story is revealed each week. I can’t wait for every Monday now! 🙂 I ALWAYS feel your writing, it always speaks to me. I have had many “foggy days” over the past few months, thanks for the encouraging words in your last entry. I am so thankful to have you to talk to when things are so foggy. Love you.