Award-winning Publishers Weekly Best-selling Author

Lost & Found

by | Aug 16, 2010 | , | My Story | 6 comments

“I can’t find it,” I said. I held my breath as I searched every compartment of my purse. Frustrated, I threw it across the room, and started to cry.

Have you ever lost something valuable? Something you couldn’t live without?

I have, but it’s not what you think.

I lost myself.

During my five and a half years of marriage to my first husband, my personality disappeared like air releasing from a slow leak of a damaged tire. His strong character took over mine, and I began to suppress the real Darlene without even realizing it.

When my husband said to me that I wasn’t the woman he married, in a way he was right. I wasn’t. I lost my true identity in the shadows of his. He wanted the limelight, and I let him have it.

Do I blame him? Not entirely. I allowed it to happen. I didn’t stick up for myself when I should have. There were times I felt like I couldn’t do anything right, so I let him take over almost every aspect of our lives. My self-esteem plummeted like a downhill skier over a fresh snow-packed mountain. Eventually, I took on a new persona. One that wasn’t mine.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t until after my husband left that I discovered my mistake of suppressing the real me. Through counselling and prayer, I started to work through the pain of my divorce. Slowly, when joy began to peek through the clouds in my life, my real personality re-emerged. Stronger.

Finally, the “real Darlene stood up” and people began to notice. They said to me, “you’re different,” but it was meant in a good way. One even said, “Darlene is back.”

I was happy again and my self-esteem began to climb back up that mountain. God showed me that I needed to love myself because He loved me…just the way I am.

I was lost, but now I’m found.

We must be careful in any type of relationship to be true to ourselves and not lose our personality. Take a stand. Be ourselves. We are special the way we are.

Remember, God doesn’t make junk.

Psalm 139:13-15 (Contemporary English Version)

You are the one who put me together inside my mother’s body,and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from you! I was secretly woven together deep in the earth below.


  1. Heather

    So true. Another great segment. 🙂

  2. Lori

    Have been there – felt like my soul was dying.
    I’m so glad you found yourself and that you let the light of God’s love shine through you.

  3. Brenda @ It's A Beautiful Life

    I found your posting over at Donna Dawson’s……. so I came to visit. I love your blog name…dreambelievefly!

    I’ve been dreaming, I’ve been believing, now I’m ready to fly in ventures I never thought possible………. these are exciting times for His Bride. It’s exciting to hear what He’s doing in others. In you!

    Glad to have ‘met’ you…. here’s wishing you glimpses of heaven in unexpected places!

  4. She


  5. Blossom Chambers

    Hi, I have a question for you Darlene. You may wonder why I have asked you but you are the only one that I Know who truly believes in a supreme being. So here is my question: Where is Jesus? and heaven? I feel so bad lately. I am 80 years old and have suffered all my life. All I ask for is a few days that pain disappears and I can smile again I had two bad falls this year and have made a complete mess of my back. I feel deserted
    I pray and I am a good person, why cant I feel inside like you do?

    • Darlene L. Turner

      These are great questions. I’d love to share my thoughts with you. I’ll send you a private message. xo


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Blog Archives

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This