From My Playlist – I Choose to Believe and I Am Not Alone

Have you had gut-wrenching weeks when all your energy is gone and the breath is sucked out of you? You can’t find the strength to go on?

I know…stupid question. We all have.

Well, this has been one of those for our family.

Recently we discovered an aggressive cancer has invaded my brother’s body and he’s in need of a bone marrow transplant. This has devastated our family and stopped us in our tracks.

Questions filled my mind. Why, Lord? He’s only 54. Why let this happen? Why put him and Natalie through this? They both love you and serve you faithfully.

Why, why, why?

My sister and I were tested to see if we’d be a donor match.

The results?


WHAT? Again…why, why, why?ex 14 14

I’m just being totally 100% honest with you. Even though we knew there was only a 25% chance we’d be a match, we hoped for the best. We did everything we thought we should. We prayed hard, prayed on our knees, prayed together over Skype. Had others pray.

Why didn’t He answer our prayer?

We don’t know.

Friends, we don’t understand why God answers a prayer with “no,” but we have to trust He’s in control. That’s what our family is holding on to right now. We’re surrendering Murray to the Master Healer.

Even though we don’t understand why He didn’t answer yes, what we do know is…

He has a plan.

His plan.

And, we choose to BELIEVE…

It’s perfect.

Exodus 14:14 (The VOICE)

The Eternal will fight on your behalf while you watch in silence.

These songs have become special to our family through this journey. Even when we don’t know the reasons why and when we can’t see His face, we know we’re not alone. He goes before us and walks beside us.

We. Are. Not. Alone.

Praise Him!

I Choose to Believe by Phillips, Craig & Dean (written by Tony Wood, Dan Dean, Don Poythress)

I Am Not Alone by Kari Jobe (written by Mia Fieldes, Ben Davis, Marty Sampson, Kari Jobe, Grant Pittman, Dustin Sauder, Austin Davis)


  13 comments for “From My Playlist – I Choose to Believe and I Am Not Alone

  1. Anne Lounder
    April 20, 2015 at 6:32 am

    Hi Darlene, I am so sorry for the pain your family is going through. There is comfort in knowing that your faith and Jesus’ love for you is greater than anything in this world!! Hugs! Praying for healing and strength for Murray and your whole family.

    • April 20, 2015 at 8:09 pm

      Thanks Anne. We’re clinging to His strength! We appreciate your prayers. Thanks so much. xo

  2. Lois McGibbon
    April 20, 2015 at 7:24 am

    Heart wrenching, Darlene, for two sisters not a match to Murray’s bone marrow. I feel your heart felt pain. Your family’s situation has really hit home with me. Feeling the circle of love from the family is one of your strengths. Hugs and healing to all.

    • April 20, 2015 at 8:10 pm

      Hi Lois! Yes, I bet this brings back a lot of pain for you. You know what we’re going through. Hugs right back to you! ❤ xo Thanks.

  3. Heather.
    April 20, 2015 at 8:50 am

    My heart goes out to you, Sue and Natalie. I will continue in prayer for healing, strength and love. May Murray, you and your family feel the warmth and comfort from His presence. You are not alone. ❤

    • April 20, 2015 at 8:11 pm

      Thanks, Heather. We appreciate all the love, support, and prayers from our family and friends. Thanks so much for praying. xoxo

  4. Eunice
    April 20, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Hi. I feel the same as Lois. We embrace you with hugs and love.

  5. April 20, 2015 at 9:48 am

    Hi Darlene,
    Praying for you and your family at this time. What a time to lean on Him and feel His arms around you.
    Love you all!

    • April 20, 2015 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Krista! He has huge arms and we definitely feel them holding us up! Thanks for praying. Love you! xo

  6. Susan Steeves
    April 22, 2015 at 4:16 am

    Thanks for sharing your heart …my heart in this blog . Its beautiful to feel the love and support to those who have commented. Thank you to them all. We do know “we are not alone ‘in this journey and “we choose to believe” God has got this as Murray has said since day one of finding this out.

    • April 22, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Yes, I’m so thankful for all of the encouragement we’ve received from family and friends. The outpouring has been amazing! xo

  7. Diane Spearing
    April 25, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Darlene and Family.,.. my prayers are with you all during this very hard time. I love what your Mom always said Dar,,, “God is good all the time” and our Bruce would say “God’s got this” so was pray and trust.

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