She cradled her newborn in her arms and marveled at God’s precious gift. They had waited so long and their bundle of joy finally arrived. Her heart was bursting.
Have you ever wanted something so badly and wondered why God wouldn’t give it to you? I’m sure you have.
Me too.
Jeff and I were married on Oct. 3, 1998, and began our life together. Things were going well. Yes, we had some bumps along the way, but we were happy.
After a year and a half, we decided it was time to start our family. Month after month after month, and nothing happened. Disappointment and frustration set in.
Once again I started to ask God why. Why can’t I get pregnant? Wouldn’t I make a good mother? You promised to give your children the desires of their hearts. Why? Why? Why?
Jeff and I talked about going to a fertility clinic. We both struggled because it felt like we were trying to “play God.” We prayed and asked for direction.
A few weeks later we made a decision and booked an appointment. This was a big step for us.
We took the road of tests, fertility drugs, and artificial insemination. And it was a twisty one with many ups, downs, and switchbacks!
Still…nothing happened.
“God, where are you?” I asked after discovering yet again I wasn’t pregnant. I wept in my husband’s arms. We were both perplexed.
The fertility doctor suggested injections and other avenues. Once again we struggled with how far to go in this process. Did we want to keep going? It was becoming too hard on both of us.
We cried out to God to show us. He answered, but not in the way you think.
Peace washed over us like a fresh rainfall. We knew our fertility visits were over. We traveled the road as far as we felt was best for us. It wasn’t an easy decision, but we knew it was the right one.
It took time, but God revealed to both Jeff and me that we were a family of two. And that was okay.
Was it hard to come to that realization? Of course. There are still times I’m brought to tears when I see a baby, and the ache returns, but I’m content in knowing God’s plan for us is a dinner for two. We are our own little family. That makes me happy.
Friend, what is God teaching you in your journey?
Philippians 4:13 (KJV)
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Thanks for sharing Darlene! Takes courage to share and be so open and transparent. Love that!
Thanks Kim!! xo
You are amazing! Thank you for sharing your story. Even with all you have been through, you still honor God and encourage others. God put you and Jeff together for a reason. Blessings to both of you!
Thank you, Terri. You’re so sweet. Thanks for stopping by. xo
We have an amazing God! He can show us the way that is different for each family, for each person, and bring beauty from ashes. Thanks for sharing your heartbreak as well as your joy.
Hi Laurie. Thanks so much. Yes, beauty from ashes. Thanks for stopping by. xo
Thank you for sharing, Darlene. I am right there with you. I ended up having a hysterectomy in my early 30’s. I was told as a teenager that children were not in my future. I still trusted in the Lord that His will be done. It was still hard to let that dream go. I still struggle with baby showers. God bless you.
I’m so sorry, Debra. So hard to let dreams go. Thanks for sharing.
My heart breaks that you went through all of this. You and Jeff are a wonderful family of two. Thanks for sharing your story.💕
Thanks so much, Kim. xo
Thank You for sharing your story, Darlene! Your Strength in the times of heartache You have always let Your light shine for the Lord Many Blessings coming to You!